Monday 5 November 2012

Hooked?

We've all read, time and time again, about how important those first few pages are, but getting them right can sometimes take a few attempts. You might have to scrap a favorite scene and try again with something new, or just rework and tighten what you've already got. Even then, maybe it'll always feel like there's something to tweak...

With all that being said, below is the first page of my YA novel, UNKNOWN ELEMENTS. At least it's the first page today. :)

There was a steady humming, but otherwise, everything was still. And completely dark.

I closed my eyes again, trying once more. Same as before--a wall of black.

Moving my head, I felt the fabric shift around my hair. A tightness pulled on my wrists and ankles, as I tried to reposition my contorted body. They’d secured me well. Whichever one of them it was.

Working through the fuzzy memories that flashed through my mind, I could see the mistakes I’d made, the choices that led me here--bound like an animal, in the trunk of a car.

To think, a week ago, I’d been sitting in class, just like everyone else. And now... My odds weren't good. Nonexistent might be more accurate.

I held my breath as the car began to slow. Veering off the smooth pavement, gravel now crunched under the tires before we pulled to a stop.

The trunk release clicked open. Its hinges creaked. Gulping the stale air silently, I readied myself for anything.

Rough hands grabbed me, harshly maneuvering my body out of the tight space. Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I fought the urge to yell and scream.

Flinging me over his shoulder, the man had yet to say a word. Only the bitter winter breeze, swirling around us made any sound.

But, I knew what he wanted. It was what they all wanted.

It had gotten her killed. And now I was next.

6 comments:

  1. Ooh, I like it! Great hook at the end. I'd turn the page to read more:) Is this the version that'll be in Baker's Dozen?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks!

      Yes, it's this version going in the contest. I'm nervous and excited about it all!

      Delete
  2. Congrats on your bids Elizabeth. Great news. I love the sound of agent Tricia Lawrence. She sounds so nice.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Elizabeth! The auction was crazy, wasn't it?!

      Delete
  3. Why else does a moth fly from the night than to a bold, attractive candle Light? Don't let His extravagant brilliance be extinguished, girl. You're creative, yes? Then fly-away with U.S to the antidote. . .

    Meet this ex-mortal Upstairs, dear, for the most extra guhroovy, pleasure-beyond-measure, party-hardy-reality-show-addiction 24 / 7 you DO NOT wanna miss, where the Son never goes down from a VitSee-ing, ultra-passionate-YOUTHwitheTRUTH in which you'll find nonillionsXnonillionsXnonillions... of deluxe-HTTP [ pi ] opportunities for enveloping, engulfing excitement; where you'll looove an endless eternity of aplomBOMBs falling ALL over thy incredible, indelible cranium, as you'll have an XtraXcitinXpose with an IQ much higher than K2. . .

    Here's what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' - the Infant Jesus of Prague

    Go git'm, girly. You're incredible
    Wiseabove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why else does a moth fly from the night than to a bold, attractive candle Light? Don't let His extravagant brilliance be extinguished, girl. You're creative, yes? Then fly-away with U.S to the antidote. . .

    Meet this ex-mortal Upstairs, dear, for the most extra guhroovy, pleasure-beyond-measure, party-hardy-reality-show-addiction 24 / 7 you DO NOT wanna miss, where the Son never goes down from a VitSee-ing, ultra-passionate-YOUTHwitheTRUTH in which you'll find nonillionsXnonillionsXnonillions... of deluxe-HTTP [ pi ] opportunities for enveloping, engulfing excitement; where you'll looove an endless eternity of aplomBOMBs falling ALL over thy incredible, indelible cranium, as you'll have an XtraXcitinXpose with an IQ much higher than K2. . .

    Here's what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' - the Infant Jesus of Prague

    Go git'm, girly. You're incredible
    Wiseabove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete